We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
