garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need a beard to bite.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
