It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
