therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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