You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
