Just fell off a train. Bad.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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