What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
