What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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