You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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