Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
