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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a salad today

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right

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• (585): View more from New York

  They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

  (716): View more from New York

  So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

  (585): View more from New York

  Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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• (310): View more from California

  Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting

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• (360): View more from Washington

  THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love

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