Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Alive.
So much puke
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
