Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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