maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
