god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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