You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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