Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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