Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
