did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
