Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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