My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
