Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
