PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
