scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize