Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
