I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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