So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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