it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just gift wrapped bread.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
