If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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