i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
