Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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