Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize