i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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