Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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