Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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