I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
