I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
