Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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