you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
