maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Randomize
