Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Randomize
