Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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