she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize