Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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