doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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