At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize
