Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
