i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
