i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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