girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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