I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
