Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
