to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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