Christians are straight up FREAKS
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
