Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
