come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
