Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
