I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
