take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
