um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
