Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
