I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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