mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Apparently you make a good broom.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
