You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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