Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
