you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
