It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
