Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
