dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
