I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
