Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
