My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
