he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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