You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
