sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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