Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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