Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
