Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
