We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
