So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize